Sunday, January 8, 2012

In The Mood

I'm feeling blue again. The holidays are over. Winter is looming. I have people in my life who think they are always right, and I often feel ignored and unappreciated. Too often my opinions don't seem to matter. I need my friends, but they are far away.

There are bright points in my life. Every night before I go to sleep, I think how grateful I am to have a warm place to sleep and a roof over my head. I don't want for anything on the physical level. It's emotional feeding that I need. I feel powerless to change my life. I need a champion, someone to support me and cheer me on.

I think I will become my own champion. My comfort zone is beginning to feel like a prison. I am gathering my strength and working up the courage to effect change. I feel like a sleeping giant. It isn't my style to make a lot of noise; an iron fist in a velvet glove is more like it. Quiet change.

These old, familiar words describe exactly what I need:

I need the courage to change the things I can change. I very much need the serenity to accept the things I can not change (because they are there). I need the wisdom to know the difference, so that I'm not always fighting a losing battle. Rather than fight the things I can't change, I need to spend time changing the things I can change. I have made a list of those, and that is what I am going to get started on. Does that sound like a new year's resolution? Maybe it is.


rachel said...

Well, we're cheering you on here! Be brave.

Gardn Of Weedn said...

Oh Judy, maybe you aren't the one that needs to change. I think we often get in the habit of allowing people (or one person) to treat us in a rude and dismissive manner. We even make excuses for their self-serving arrogance, or we are so stunned and hurt that we retreat in silence, thinking that we are too sensitive or easily hurt. Often, the truth is, that they ARE assholes.
That might not be especially helpful, but it's the first thing that popped into my head. Sorry you're sad....((hug))

the veg artist said...

Good for you! Investigating and planning - that's the key. Maybe you will come up with something where only half-a-change will be acceptable to you and to others. If possible, get yourself into a win/win stage so that you are accepting of whichever result.
Good Luck!

judy in ky said...

Thank you all for your encouragement and insight. It does help me.

Bearette said...

I know what you mean, and feel the same way sometimes. Sometimes just a small change can be very empowering. Thinking of you.

judy in ky said...

Thank you. I will be thinking of you too.