Wednesday, September 3, 2008

How we came to Kentucky and a Tribute to Mommies

I am not a mommy.  At one time in my life, that was a reason for great sadness.  My husband and I went through three years of infertility treatment.  That was almost twenty years ago, when we lived in Philadelphia.  Anyone who has been through it knows:  endless doctor visits and tests, hormone shots given by husband, all leading up to IVF day then waiting to see the results.  It became stressful and expensive and time-consuming.  It took over our lives.  Finally, when the doctor told us our chances of conceiving were lower than ten percent, we said "enough".  

Fast forward to now.  Now I am "Aunt Judy".  I take care of my three nieces every Tuesday, while my sister goes to work.  Three girls, ages 7, 9, and 11.  This began three years ago when my husband and I moved to Kentucky to be closer to our families.  Prior to that we had evolved into a carefree, child-free state, many hours away from both of our families.  We both had jobs that kept us busy, we made many friends who were "empty-nesters" and so were virtually child-free like us.  We traveled with these friends and had a busy social life.  

Eventually, our friends became grandparents and began focusing on children again.  Some of them got divorced.  Things changed, as they will.  Both my mom and mom-in-law were in their eighties and starting to have health problems.  We decided to move closer to our families... that's when we came to Kentucky.  I had been working in Center City Philadelphia, which was a pretty exciting place.  Taking the train every day, strolling down to Rittenhouse Square at lunchtime, walking past the Curtis Institute of Music and hearing arias and violin solos coming through the windows.  I had really come to love my life and had gotten over my sadness at being childless.  

It's very quiet here in rural Kentucky.  It's a very different life.  There are no commuter trains.  I don't have a job now.  We have met some very nice people, but haven't really settled in yet.  The politics are quite a bit different here.  We are returning to some of our midwestern roots.  We still subscribe to the New York Times.  

Where does the "tribute to mommies" come in?  It comes in when I think of how my life has changed since becoming "Aunt Judy" to my three nieces.  It's a whole different world!  I have learned all about the Disney princesses, about all the variations of American Girl dolls, about Hannah Montana and Camp Rock and the Cheetah Girls.  I have learned that kids are hard work, have big squabbles over little things, and can never find their shoes.  There are funny, happy moments and moments when you want to give up.  I read "mommy bloggers" now, and can relate to a lot of what they talk about.  And I admire them.  I have the children one day a week; they have them 24/7.  Wow!  


Susan said...

Hey Judy in KY. I'm so glad you saw the Neil video as I was so hoping you would. Gosh darn your election down there in the US of A just has me on the edge of my seat.

I'm SO, so happy that you now also have a blog and be sure - I will be checking in daily (no pressure). Honestly my blog is like therapy for me and you all have made this sad year so much easier for me and I am eternally grateful for all the support, the love, patience and your always kind words. Thank you.

How nice to be an Auntie to three girls. Other than longing for a red male retriever I often long to hang around with kids or teenagers. I think they are fascinating and I think it's good for us and good for them.

So nice to learn a bit more about you and your life. xo, S, Winn & Les Chats

judy in ky said...

Susan, thanks so much for visiting, and for your welcoming words. Yes, it is fun having the three nieces so close. I know them so much better now than when we lived so far away. I will probably be speaking about them often on this blog. They are smart and funny and interesting.
yes, our election has me on pins and needles... so much at stake, I wish I were watching it from the outside, as you are. Maybe I wouldn't be quite as nervous.
My three chats say "bonjour" to your chats... and Winnie, of course!

amy smith said...

judy in KY,
got to your blog thru chicken blog!
you are doing a wonderful job with your blog!
just got back from a long weekend there...
keep blogging!

judy in ky said...

Hi Amy,
Welcome to my new blog! Thanks for visiting, and I will come to visit yours as well.