Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Natalie's post this morning got me thinking. I think it's true that many of us censor ourselves when posting on our blogs. We want to present the light side of our lives and leave the rest in dark corners. Sometimes we write a post ranting or venting about things that aren't so perfect, then we delete them. Well, the following is an example of one I wrote last night while in a funk. I wasn't going to post this, but now I think maybe I should, to illustrate that all of our lives are not perfect like Martha Stewart... come to think of it, her life hasn't been so perfect either. And look at Oprah. She has all the money and power in the world, yet she is admitting she gets depressed and struggles with her weight.
"I hate to sound depressing, but I am depressed. My husband has been working at home for the past month. He broke his wrist in October, had the cast taken off in December, and is having a lot of pain in the arm. He goes to physical therapy and does the exercises, but is getting discouraged. Many nights, he has to take pain medication to sleep. He has been letting his beard and mustache grow, and looks all gray and fuzzy and rumpled. Most day he works in his home office, wearing sweats and a bath robe.
I have not been motivated to go out of the house or to get any exercise. I've been loading up on sugar and carbs. I watch too much T.V. Days and days go by, eating too much and watching too much news. It all leads to depression. It's hard to break the cycle. I look at my four walls and get more depressed. They are dark and mud-colored. My old house was light and bright with bay windows and sky lights. This house seems dark and confining. When we moved in, we left the walls and window treatments from the prior owners, and I tried to talk myself into liking it. But I can't... I want to have it all repainted. I want things to be light and bright, to take down the bamboo shades and put up lace curtains. Of course, with the economy looking so bleak, it's difficult to justify spending money on the house. The 401K I accumulated while working is now a 201K."
Okay, if you are still with me... that is what I wrote last night, when I was exhausted and ready to go to bed. This morning looks a little bit better. The sun is shining and the television is turned off. I am going to go out and conquer the world today!