Saturday, May 15, 2010

War of the Roses (and Other Skirmishes)

When we bought this house, I was happy to find that there were big beautiful red rose bushes on one side of our front yard. I love these roses, and care for them by watering, feeding, and deadheading them. They have responded beautifully. They are full of blooms.

One day last week my husband and I had a fight about them. He was outside pulling weeds and trimming shrubbery. When I came outside I saw him putting some branches of rose bushes in the trash. They had buds on them. I was heartbroken to see these potential blooms in the trash. I asked him what was he thinking, cutting these off. He said they were low-hanging branches, so the bush didn't look neat. I said "you should never cut off buds... such a waste!" I don't care if they are low-hanging or not, they are going to bloom! Well, he was angry in turn. I don't think he understood me, and I certainly didn't understand him.

This incident is typical for us. He is a buttoned-up type of guy, who likes things to be neat and tidy. This is his version of shrubery... all neatly trimmed and orderly:

This is my version of shrubery... natural and free, as nature intended:

I guess this is what happens when a button-up guy like this one:

gets together with a free-spirited woman like this one:

Back when we met (on a blind date) I was a semi-flower child (not a hippie by any means, but kind of a hippie sympathizer) and he was a preppy businessman who liked to play golf. (I tried golf for a while but found it "too structured". He thinks that's weird.) He showed up at my door in a madras jacket like this one:

I had him pegged! I didn't think he was "my type" at all, but I guess he grew on me. In a way, we have complemented each other. I loosen him up (he used to be a Republican!) and he keeps me somewhat grounded (although sometimes a bit too much!). But it does cause the occasional "war" like the one about the roses and the bushes. He still trims too much off and I still get upset when he does it. I told him I am going to supervise when he goes out to trim things... but he sneaks out when he thinks I am not paying attention. Some husbands sneak out to drink or gamble... mine sneaks out to disfigure the shrubery!


Mountain Thyme said...

Very funny. And true. Isn't it frustrating? Hasn't it been frustrating all these years? Exact same thing in my house, too. Grrrrrrrrr!

judy in ky said...

Yes, it has been frustrating for quite a while; I guess there is no changing them. Glad I'm not alone, though. Grrrrr is right!

Bearette24 said...

So his vice is neatness :)

judy in ky said...
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Rebecca Ramsey said...

You are too funny.
Isn't it interesting how things work out. That the things that so attracted me to my sweetie now drive me crazy! It's good to complement and soften each other. I sure needed softening!

chickory said...

one time the guy who bushhogs my field said he would cut back some trees for me. i was thinking you know, cut back a little. like a dope i said he could do it on a day i wasnt there. when i got back to my place, the trees were all trimmed to perfect lollipops. i kid you not -every treeline/canopy was at the exact same level making it the most unnatural landscape on the face of earth. i would wake up in the middle of the night go out on the porch and look and say to myself "yep, it really happened:. i cried. often. took three years to look like a natural forest again.

Gah! i know how you geel. you have to train Madras to trim only with your permission first.

judy in ky said...

Chickory, I almost cried just reading your story, what a heartbreak that was!
Train Madras... you must be kidding! He's a Taurus (stubborn as a bull).

kekekelo said...
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julie king said...

it sounds like the two if you are a lot like my hubby and me. my dad used to call hubby and me the odd couple -- i'm a free bird and hubby's a neat freak. funny!!!