Friday, April 27, 2012


Aging parents... that's the issue today. My mom and David are both 88 years old. They have been living in the house that he has had for forty-some years. The house is too much for them; there are maintenance issues they can't handle. For a couple of years my sisters and I have been trying to convince them to move from their house into a smaller, more convenient, more senior friendly place. Our suggestions have fallen on deaf ears. Now it has come to the point where David has macular degeneration and can not drive. He also suffers from mild dementia.

Last week David had a stroke. Since then he has been living with his son and his wife; she is a nurse. So mom is now living in the house alone. She doesn't know if is going to be able to come back to their house, and she is confused. They think he is going to require medical and nursing care. She's worried about finances, about the house, and where she should go next.

My sister and I live about an hour away from her. We are doing everything we can to help, including moral support. I know this is a situation that many people our age are facing, or are going to face. Our parents worried about us; now we worry about them.


the veg artist said...

Judy, I don't know what to say. Life seems to be attacking you from all sides at the moment.
There used to be a perception in the world that Americans had it really good. The more I read now about the different social, health and aging issues and unemployment and housing difficulties, the more that perception is shattered.
Our press carried a piece about Detroit the other day, which has also featured on a TV programme. Also, we've had coverage of the tent cities that have sprung up. We as a country in the UK cannot afford the safety net that we have, but at least it is there. We cannot afford our NHS medical system, but at least it is there. Our elderly are having to cash in to provide for their residential care, so those worries are the same. My best friend has both elderly parents and two children - one of 14, one of only two. She also feels stretched in every direction.
Thinking of you.

judy in ky said...

Artist, i appreciate your kind comment. Yes, many Americans are sharing your view that "the American dream" is fading away. There is a political faction here that wants to take away the safety nets of those in need. Please be assured that my husband and I are doing okay, as he is one of the lucky ones who still has a job.

Natalie, the Chickenblogger said...

Difficult transitions... I'm sorry.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Your poor mother must be very anxious . I hope that you and your sisters are able to find somewhere that they'll be happy in together .

Pam said...

I can really relate to this Judy. "Our suggestions have fallen on deaf ears". All our oldies are in their eighties now. My mother-in-law is about to buy a new car when she should really be giving up her licence, my dad has been getting lost in the streets on his gopher which Veteran's Affairs told him not to purchase due to his dementia,and my mother and her aged siblings are insisting on driving almost to the next state on busy highways and country roads to see a dying cousin. They won't even consider the bus. This has all become a bit much while I try to deal with my husband's heart issues.
Particularly with Alzheimer's stubborness without logical thinking and reasoning is a difficult combination. I feel for you.