Monday, November 26, 2012
Could It Be Stress?
My head has been spinning...
and my tummy has been acting up.
I have had a couple of months worrying about my mom and helping her adjust to widowhood and aging. She has been feeling overwhelmed by probate issues and by a house that's falling apart. I am the oldest daughter, so I have been trying my best to help. I think the worry has been affecting me more than I realized.
I have also been dealing with issues of where and how my husband and I want to spend our retirement. One issue is money; will we have enough savings to support ourselves? It's a common worry these days, I know. Another issue is where we want to live. We used to live in Philadelphia area, and we have good friends there. We just spent a week in Mexico with them, and it makes us realize how much we would like to be close to them again. They live in a condo designed for 55 and over residents.
There is a lovely condo that is just waiting for us there, if we want to buy it.
Right now we live in a cozy little house in Kentucky. I like the house and we are near family, but we have no friends here other than our next door neighbors. We have a little colony of feral cats that we care for, with our neighbors' help. I worry about what would happen to them if we should move away. I know it sounds silly to some people, but I feel attached to them. Also, I have found myself feeling attached to the countryside around here, and I think I could miss it.
So, do I want a quiet, rural existence with little or no social life, or do I want to move back to Philadelphia and have a busier, more lively social life?
Or, on the other hand...
I would love to live in a cottage in Hawaii. I love Hawaii; it's my favorite place in the world and I feel happiest there. I have suggested to my husband that we sell everything and prepare to move ourselves and our four cats to Hawaii. We could live there during our sixties and seventies, and be happy in our old age. Who knows what will happen to us in our eighties and nineties, if we live that long?
The fact that we have only a few more decades of active life left is putting me into a bit of a panic, I'm afraid. I want to make the best of things before we find ourselves in my mom's position. So I am feeling stress about indecision and a sense of having only so much time. I need to stop stressing.