I Don't Speak Apple

I have an Apple iphone and a MacBook laptop. I know that my laptop connects to the internet with Safari. I know my phone connects to the internet with 3G. I need a WiFi spot to run my computer, but not my phone. (I believe that is all correct, but don't quote me.) Why can't I use 3G on my laptop so I can connect to the internet everywhere, as I can on my phone?

I know that the iphone is now available with 4G, which must be faster than 3G. But what is this (photo below)? It says "iOS 5". Does this mean 5G? For a long time I wondered what "iOS" meant. Finally I figured out that "iOS" means "internet operating system". That's fine, but why do they use a lowercase i and uppercase OS? Because it looks cool? It just confuses me. Can I run "iOS 5" on my 3G phone? I have no idea.


Or should I assume that my 3G phone can only run on 3.0 software?


I am guessing that a 4G phone runs on 4.0 software. But... what is 4.3? Is it replacing 4.2? What happened to 4.0 and 4.1? Or is the software actually called 4.3.2?


Now, my laptop... as I said, I know i uses Safari. So what is 'Leopard"?


And what is "Snow Leopard"? Am I missing out on something? And what does the "X" after "OS" mean?


Look at the list below: Cheetah, Puma, Jaguar, Panther, Tiger (and Tiger/x86!), and Leopard. Did each one make the last one obsolete, or are they all still existing somewhere out there?


I have to sinc (sync?) my iphone to my MacBook occasionally. If I have trouble and I call the Apple help line they ask me if I am using the latest operating system. What can I say? I don't even know what they all are. All I do know is that every time I get used to one system or program or application, they come out with a new version. For example, when I sign on to iphoto I get a message that there is a new iphoto available and do I want to download it? I never do, because I am afraid I won't understand the new version.

I have a picture in my mind of all these young geeks in Silicon Valley sitting around dreaming up all these new programs and all the new code words and numbers to name them. I'm afraid I don't understand their language. Where do I go to learn it?