Blue

I'm feeling blue today. My husband is going away tomorrow morning. He's going to California, to visit his daughter and granddaughter. He will go on from there to out of town business all week. This means he won't be home until a week from today. It's times like these that remind me of the consequences of not having children of my own. I will never have my own grandchildren. He is very kind about sharing his grandparenthood with me. He always includes me in greetings and phone calls. But it is he that they really love. The "stepmother" thing never really goes away.

On top of this, we have been trying to decide where to live after he retires. Here, I have family, which is the reason we moved here five years ago. I am closer to my mom, two sisters, and nieces than I was when we lived in Philadelphia. But I still have so many good friends back there and I miss them. Whenever we visit they ask me when we are coming back. There are so many fun things happening there that I am missing. They are my peers. I have some great neighbors here now, and we have the crew of feral cats that we care for. So, no matter what we do, I will be missing someone.