War of the Roses (and Other Skirmishes)

When we bought this house, I was happy to find that there were big beautiful red rose bushes on one side of our front yard. I love these roses, and care for them by watering, feeding, and deadheading them. They have responded beautifully. They are full of blooms.

One day last week my husband and I had a fight about them. He was outside pulling weeds and trimming shrubbery. When I came outside I saw him putting some branches of rose bushes in the trash. They had buds on them. I was heartbroken to see these potential blooms in the trash. I asked him what was he thinking, cutting these off. He said they were low-hanging branches, so the bush didn't look neat. I said "you should never cut off buds... such a waste!" I don't care if they are low-hanging or not, they are going to bloom! Well, he was angry in turn. I don't think he understood me, and I certainly didn't understand him.

This incident is typical for us. He is a buttoned-up type of guy, who likes things to be neat and tidy. This is his version of shrubery... all neatly trimmed and orderly:


This is my version of shrubery... natural and free, as nature intended:


I guess this is what happens when a button-up guy like this one:


gets together with a free-spirited woman like this one:


Back when we met (on a blind date) I was a semi-flower child (not a hippie by any means, but kind of a hippie sympathizer) and he was a preppy businessman who liked to play golf. (I tried golf for a while but found it "too structured". He thinks that's weird.) He showed up at my door in a madras jacket like this one:


I had him pegged! I didn't think he was "my type" at all, but I guess he grew on me. In a way, we have complemented each other. I loosen him up (he used to be a Republican!) and he keeps me somewhat grounded (although sometimes a bit too much!). But it does cause the occasional "war" like the one about the roses and the bushes. He still trims too much off and I still get upset when he does it. I told him I am going to supervise when he goes out to trim things... but he sneaks out when he thinks I am not paying attention. Some husbands sneak out to drink or gamble... mine sneaks out to disfigure the shrubery!